Order Over Chaos
I’m a little neurotic. A bit of a neat-freak. And probably borderline OCD at times. I like the comfort of having routines. Routines feel safe. They give order. Which, ultimately, allows you to make it through portions of your day on cruise control. Y’know, basically the same governing principles of the zombie genus.
For this reason, I’ve been known to alphabetize my movie, music, and video game racks over the years. Order over chaos. Even as a kid, I preferred this sort of system. It allows me to scan the rack and immediately find whichever title I’m seeking out, rather than having to focus on each title to see if it’s the one I’m looking for. All that happens in that scenario, is you get distracted by another one along the way and veer off in another direction.
But they’d throw you a curveball, sometimes. Because you have to make a decision very early on – do you file them by the title/name that appears on the spine of the case or by what you know it as?
This. Is. Huge.
Take the Nightmare on Elm Street series, for example. I prided myself on owning the entire collection. The problem is, the sixth film in the series is actually titled Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare. And the next one – which is already humorous, considering I was just talking about the “final” nightmare supposedly – was called Wes Craven’s New Nightmare. Decision time. Do you break the rules and place them all together still, despite the spines breaking alphabetical order when scanning, because they’re part of the same series? Or do you place Freddy’s Dead with the other “F” titles, Wes Craven’s New Nightmare with the “W” titles, and thus splitting the series apart from one another? It was, well, enough to cause nightmares.
When I owned a Sega Genesis as a kid, the football series started as John Madden Football and eventually just dropped the “John” to become Madden plus its year. File them all under “M” for Madden, or split them up? I need to call a timeout and think about this.
Tupac under “T” or 2Pac under the numerical artists?
You get the point. Something that is meant to simplify and eliminate potential stress of not finding, becomes a dog chasing its own tail of insanity. Speaking of, don’t even get me started on Snoop Dogg versus Snoop Doggy Dogg and how I choose to organize that in my iTunes library.
Thank You, Mario. But Our Princess Is In Another Blog!
Anyone who says chivalry is dead, should look no further than Mario, himself.
The guy has been putting his entire life on hold, to run around rescuing that Princess for how long? And if that isn’t love, I don’t know what is.
It started off in Donkey Kong, if I remember correctly. Somehow, the Princess gets captured by this giant gorilla. What she was doing near said-Gorilla, I haven’t a clue. Was she teasing him? Having a laugh at his expense? Trying to get a photo with it to put on her (eventual) Facebook page? Well, regardless, Kong grabs her and guess who has to come to her rescue? Yup, Mario.
Now, I’ve heard of guys jumping through hoops for women, but Mario takes it to another level. He literally jumps over flaming barrels at times, to get to her. That’s a gentleman.
Eventually, Mario rescues her. At this point, if a giant gorilla somehow takes you hostage and you manage to escape – and you’re a princess – you figure your kingdom is going to take a few measures to amp up security and make sure it doesn’t happen again. Right? The first time’s an accident. When she gets abducted for a second time in Super Mario Bros. you then have to wonder if she’s putting herself in harm’s way on purpose. Is this all part of a game, for the Princess? Is she testing Mario, to see if he’s worthy of her love? I don’t know. I’ve dated some princesses before, but none that were of the royalty kind. They would give me “tests” as well … but thankfully, they never took it to this sort of level.
She may be a sociopath. But if not, at the very least, she’s very high-maintenance.
I mean, how many times is Mario going to chase her down to a castle, only to find out she’s in the other one? He does it, because he must love her. It’s the only explanation, because despite knowing that time and time again, she’s just going to be captured by another beast and taken on a wild goose Koopa chase, he does it over and over again. And he never complains. Well, I assume he doesn’t. Kind of hard to tell since that mustache covers his whole mouth. Mario just quietly goes about his business of saving the Princess, game after game.
Makes you wonder if Luigi ever sits him down and has a brotherly chat with him.
Luigi: Bro, you know I’m always there for you. And when you call me and ask me to take down Bowser with you, I’m totally Starsky to your Hutch. But do you think she’s worth it?
Mario: You don’t know her like I do. She’s different, when she isn’t being captured by giant gorillas or a family of Koopas!
Luigi: Okay, easy. I just want to make sure you know what you’re getting yourself into. (pauses) Because she really seems to get herself into lots of debacles-
Mario: Dude. That’s my Princess you’re talking about. I told you already-
Luigi: I’m sorry. You’re right. I crossed the line. (pauses) But the Family Plumbing business is really taking a hit from all this running around after her. Especially in this economy.
Mario: I know, I know. I’ve been meaning to talk to her accountant about some sort of business reimbursement program while we’re on the road.
Luigi: On the road? Mario. We follow her from castle to castle. We hop across lava. We swim underwater and get attacked by electric octipusses.
Mario: Octopi. Plural of octopus is octopi.
Luigi: Whatever! The point is, “on the road’ is an understatement! We’re on everything but a road looking for that girl! (pauses) But she’s your Princess. So we’ll keep doing what we’re doing.
Mario: Thanks, Luigi.
Hey, who are we to second guess Mario, right? His heart seems to be in the right place. Though as much as I hate seeing parents use them on their children at the mall, maybe Mario should consider a body leash for his Princess in the future.
This is my blog. There are many like it, but this one is mine. My blog is my best friend.
